With that being said, I have so many projects, so little time, but I’m prioritizing the ones that both fulfill me and have a decent chance at replacing my $DAYJOB.
Also, having a schedule so I don’t burn myself out. It’s been working well for about a month so far.
Get bored or stuck? Do something else. There’s so many things to do. You’re still working on the same metaproject.
Find something cool online that you want to experiment with? Find a way to frame it as an experiment or project under the umbrella of the metaproject.
For example, my overarching project is to develop my own computer system, from the custom CPU, up to the operating system and applications, as completely from scratch as possible. This has led me to learn more about Verilog, electronics, soldering, computer architecture, RISC-V, emulators, you name it.
At one point, I decided I needed to design my own high-level language for this thing. The compiler has itself become a metaproject where there’s always something to work on: parsing, lexing, optimization passes, experiments in syntax, garbage collectors, writing a debugger, etc.
Someday soon, I hope to be able to start a project to build video hardware with a sprite engine, like in those old 8-bit and 16-bit game systems. I’ll mentally bill this under the umbrella of “working on my computer project.”
I’ve been thinking of “that computer project” as a kind of life project that I’ll plug away on here and there until the day I die.
I wonder if this is how those old men who build boats feel about their boat. Hey, there’s my own catchy phrase right there: “Build your boat”
It doesn’t really say much else, though - just a bunch of commonplace realizations that most of ideas never get done, and then some jump to “metaprojects”, possibly to reframe the frustrations so they feel less stressful, but I don’t get that part.
https://heredragonsabound.blogspot.com/2020/02/the-forever-p...
> You've been wanting to take cooking classes, but you've also been wanting to join an improv group. If you don't have time/resources for both of these projects, you might choose a metaproject like "weekly dinner party with funny friends" -- it doesn't strictly meet the requirements from either project, but it might fulfill some deeper desire.
So the idea is to extrapolate a new project that satisfies some core aspects of multiple projects you dont have time for.
How long do you estimate is going to take you to complete?
The part about disabling conscience feels like a huge stretch (I don’t see it there, not explicitly for sure), given how the article is just some personal rant about task and goal management.
This is just sociopathic. More more more. Turn off my loss aversion with stocism, etc.
Publish that novella, build an OS, converse in Mandarin, release an indie game, publish that other novella, dominate a continent --
It's not enough to breathe -- my gluttonous heart wants to impose its imagination on Earth and all its inhabitants.
I want freedom, money, affection, play, power, validation, fulfillment, etc.
Of course I already have these things, but enough never seems enough.
These desires manifest themselves as an endless backlog of ideas and projects.
My backlog grows; my lifespan dwindles. I feel powerless against this trickle of time. When my optimism hits its limits, I mourn so many stillborn dreams -- breaking my back to bury impossible futures.
I want to want fewer futures, but I'm often too weak to put possibilities out of their misery. I'm learning to let go, but maybe letting go takes a lifetime.
My brain came pre-installed with Human OS; loss aversion will squander CPU until I install security patches (e.g. Taoism, Zen, stocism).
But I think I'm allergic to enlightenment. Meditation is difficult, quiet is boring, courage is scary, desire is addicting, etc.
"Dream themes" are my spiritual duct-tape. When desire outpaces optimism, I distill my projects into metaprojects [sic].
Most humans lack the resources to pursue megaprojects. Those who wage one-man wars-of-attrition guarantee failure.
A metaproject is an itch which scratches many itches.
So many bites. Scratching harder, clawing at skin, fighting flesh -- loss is inevitable under these conditions. Ignore that immediate irritation and erect a mosquito net. If your net works, it'll crowd with friends, finally finding relief from similar itches.
Metaprojects agglomerate. Your nets' threads tend to tangle together into an anti-mosquito tapestry. In those chaotic quilting patterns, you develop vocabulary to describe/distinguish distinct itches.
Your ultimate metaproject is precisely you and inevitably whoever you choose to become. It never feels that way. It feels like you're building an OS, learning Mandarin, writing another novella -- no, no -- you're writing an autobiography with blood.
I often wonder what draws me to pick up so many interests and goals. I used to think its leading me towards something but after so many years I have started to wonder if that is really whats going on. Maybe there is something more essential I can tease out of all my side projects that reveals what I am really after..
It’s one thing if one’s being a shitty person to others, and does some mental gymnastics to not feel bad about it. Plenty of examples out there, but author doesn’t strike me as such. I don’t see any of this here, unless maybe if author’s game or Mandarin skills are beyond atrocious, lol. Just kidding, of course.
It’s a whole other thing to be at peace with yourself about your own stuff. Not doing that is a potential way to become a sociopath, because if one constantly feels shitty about themselves all chances are they’ll start to voluntarily exclude themselves from society (to avoid feeling bad) and get out of touch with it.
And wanting good things is… normal, isn’t it? I would be rather concerned if someone doesn’t want anything - ahedonia is not a good state to be in.
The only social thing I’ve seen there, is author’s admission they want to impose imagination (whatever that means), but in my perception that’s just some random thought that wasn’t followed on.
Seem to be a lot of complaints about this post, I'm enjoying it. Interesting flow of thoughts and share similar frustration with all my ideas and trying to channel them, and get to something. If I get to something close to my thoughts that's a huge win for me.